When Life Feels Like It’s Pulling You Apart

Life has a way of testing us in ways we never expect. Sometimes, it feels like everything hits at once like waves crashing over you, leaving barely enough time to catch your breath before the next one comes. That’s where I find myself now: standing in the middle of a storm, trying to hold myself together while the world around me seems determined to break me apart.

A little backstory: Since I divorced my wife, my son has lived with me for two years. Only seeing his mother a handful of times, with only one overnight stay. In an effort to force her to see her son more often, I contacted a lawyer.

Since then, her and I have been in the middle of a custody battle, one of the hardest and most emotionally draining experiences a parent can go through. After a lot of back and forth and court dates, my son recently decided to live with his mom, my ex-wife.

Today, he went to live with her because school starts next week. As a father, there’s a particular kind of emptiness in watching your child pack up his things and head off to another home, even if it’s to the other parent. It’s not about losing him completely, it’s about losing the small, everyday moments: making sure he’s up for school, the late night conversations, the subtle routine of just being in the same house. Not being able to see him every day is heartbreaking.

I told myself I’d be strong. I told myself I’d respect his decision and put his comfort first. But the truth is, when the door closed behind him, the silence was deafening. That silence held years of memories, years of effort, and years of being “Dad” in a very real, tangible way.

And as if that weren’t enough, life didn’t stop there.

The Weight of Harassment

My girlfriend, who has been my support and partner through so much, is dealing with her own battle. She has had to get a restraining order put against her ex-boyfriend because of harassment, stalking, and threats. That did not stop her ex’s family as they decided to harass both her and me in his place. It’s a constant stream of negativity: messages, gossip, and attempts to dig into our lives. It feels like we can’t breathe without someone trying to find a way to suffocate us.

Harassment, stalking, and threats aren’t just about the act itself it’s about the feeling it leaves behind. It creeps into your peace of mind, following you like a shadow. You start to question whether your phone buzzing is just a normal notification or another unwanted intrusion. You second-guess what parts of your life you can share openly, wondering who’s watching and waiting to twist it into something ugly.

I want to be her shield. I want to stand strong against them and say, “You can’t touch us.” But the reality is, their actions seep into our relationship. Their words, their actions, their attempts to stir chaos, they plant seeds of doubt, stress, and frustration. They are trying to tear us apart. To make our lives a living hell. And when you’re already carrying the weight of losing time with your child, this added weight feels unbearable.

When Love Meets Stress

My girlfriend and I have been arguing more than ever these days. Not because we don’t love each other because we do, deeply. The arguments come from miscommunication and misunderstanding of what was said and done in the past or the lack thereof. We ended up pointing fingers at one another causing more grief. The little things that didn’t normally bother us, were suddenly being brought to light.

In the present, it appears everything is pressing down on us, squeezing out the patience, the tenderness, and the gentleness that our love thrives on.

Stress is sneaky. It doesn’t always announce itself clearly. Instead, it hides behind raised voices, sighs, or the cold silence between two people who once couldn’t get enough of each other’s company. It’s not that I want to fight with her, or that she wants to fight with me. It’s that life keeps throwing punches, and sometimes, we mistakenly throw them at each other instead of fighting the storm side by side.

I catch myself wondering, are we strong enough to withstand all this? Love is supposed to be the anchor, but sometimes, even anchors slip when the sea is rough enough.

The Emotional Whiplash

It’s strange to feel torn between two very different sources of love and responsibility. On one hand, I am a father, grieving the loss of having my son under my roof every day. On the other, I am a partner, trying to build a future with someone who also carries her own wounds and battles.

That emotional whiplash is exhausting. Some mornings I wake up determined to be positive, to push forward. Other mornings, the heaviness sits on my chest like a boulder I can’t move.

Sometimes, my emotions got the better of me and I took them out on my son, giving him the silent treatment. Instead of enjoying the last few days we had together, we spent it quietly avoiding one another.

When my girlfriend and I share a quiet moment of peace, I feel hopeful, but I get these thoughts in my head that I might be wasting my time. Is this worth it all? As if there might not be a future.

It’s a cycle that repeats itself repeatedly, making me question everything.

Lessons Hidden in the Pain

But here’s the thing I keep coming back to: storms don’t last forever. They’re brutal, they’re overwhelming, and they test every ounce of your endurance but eventually, they pass. What remains is what was strong enough to withstand them.

My son wants this time with his mom. He missed his mother. This is his way of getting some of that time back. This allows him figure out who he is, where he belongs, and how to balance his own world. As a father, part of my role isn’t just protecting him it’s also letting him grow, even if it means letting go for a while. I made sure that he knows he is always welcome with me. His choice now doesn’t have to be permanent unless that is what he chooses. He knows I am always here for him.

Maybe my girlfriend and I are being tested in ways most couples don’t typically face. Maybe the arguments and stress are forcing us to see whether our love is built on something real or something fragile. If we can hold on, if we can learn to stand united even when everything else tries to tear us apart then maybe what we’re building is something unshakable.

And maybe, just maybe, the harassment from her ex’s family is not a sign of our weakness, but of their fear. Fear that she’s moved on, fear that she’s finding happiness they couldn’t give her, fear that their grip on her life is slipping away.

Finding a Way Forward

Writing this isn’t about finding neat answers. I don’t have them. Life right now feels messy, complicated, and painful. But what I do know is that acknowledging the storm is the first step to surviving it. Pretending everything is fine doesn’t help. Owning the struggle and saying out loud, “This is hard, and I’m hurting” that’s what keeps me grounded.

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know if my son will come back to live with me full-time. I don’t know if the harassment will ever fully stop. I don’t know if my girlfriend and I will find smoother days ahead. But I do know this:

I’m still standing.

Every morning I wake up and choose to keep going, even when it feels impossible. Every night I go to bed carrying the weight of the day, but I wake again with another chance to fight, to love, and to hope. I realize this is life. This is my journey. I love knowing that I am able to experience all of it, difficult or not.

The Bigger Picture

When I take a step back, I realize life is never about smooth sailing. We like to imagine that happiness comes when everything aligns perfectly: family, love, peace, stability. But maybe true happiness isn’t about perfection, it’s about resilience. It’s about finding slivers of joy in the middle of chaos. It’s about realizing my son is discovering himself, even if he’s not in my house. It’s about holding my girlfriend’s hand after an argument, and choosing forgiveness over pride. It’s about remembering that even in the hardest seasons, love is still present, even if it’s buried under stress and pain.

The storm is real. The pain is real. The frustration, the anger, the loneliness; they’re all real. But so is the love. And so is the hope. So is the possibility that one day, I’ll look back on this season and realize it made me stronger, made us stronger, and made me appreciate the calmer waters all the more.

Closing Thoughts

Somewhere beyond the horizon, there’s calm waiting

Right now, my life feels like it’s being pulled apart by forces beyond my control. My son is with his mom. My girlfriend and I are struggling under the weight of harassment and stress. And some days, I feel like I’m barely holding it together.

But deep down, I know this is not the end of my story. This is just a chapter, a hard one, yes but still just a chapter. The pages ahead are unwritten, but I still hold the pen.

If you’re reading this and find yourself in your own storm, I hope you remember this: you are not alone. Life is not about avoiding the storms, it’s about learning to walk through them without losing yourself.

And so, even as I stand here, weary and worn, I keep walking. Because that’s what life demands. Because that’s what love requires. And because somewhere beyond the horizon, there’s calm waiting.